


I Could See the Sunset in Your Eyes

by occhio_di_tigre_64



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Asahi Azumane - Freeform, Badly written angst, Complete, Covid-19 mentions, Death, Friendship, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mentions of Tanaka and Hinata, Quarantine mentions, Sad Ending, Secret Crush, Short Story, Short sad story, Sunsets, Unrequited Love, beautiful description, does anyone ever read these anyway?, music to go with fic, nishinoya yuu - Freeform, playlist linked in the comments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29006625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occhio_di_tigre_64/pseuds/occhio_di_tigre_64
Summary: Hiraeth, a yearning for a home that never was, or perhaps once was, but is no longer in existence. Related words: melancholy, tragedy, home-sickness
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

“Azumane, you better not die!” Noya was partly making a joke, but anyone could hear the deep concern in the small libero's voice.

It had been a month since Asahi, the teams' ace and left wing spiker had been diagnosed with COVID-19, the deadly virus that had swept the globe. Asahi had recently been admitted to the hospital, but it was clear he had been in critical condition. The asthma was no reassurance to Nishinoya, Asahi had kept it a secret to the team because he didn't want to worry them. Only his best friend knew of his condition and that was what terrified him the most.

Asahi had been quarantined the minute he was diagnosed, so the rest of the team and all of the sick boy's close friends and classmates, even some of his teachers. His family kept in touch about his condition through emails while also self-quarantining. The ace that Noya knew was strong, radiated power, yet gentle, kind and always put others before himself. Not some pale, skinny body hooked to fluids and machines build to assist with his breathing.

Looking back, Nishinoya was planning on confessing to his best friend, his homie, his one-in-a-million, although now, it felt like every day was walking on glass. Glass that would break for any wrong move. Noya was no longer certain that Azumane would live to see another day, another volleyball practice, a casual hangout with friends, a sleepover with Noya or even his own graduation. To Yuu, it was extremely unfair that Asahi could no longer even survive without the help of some cold contraption.

That same day, Nishinoya went home, slammed the door shut in anger and stomped up to his room. There, he punched the wall hard with his fist; his knuckle now ringing with pain. Noya's vision began to blur with tears, but not from the sting of his punch. He crawled onto his bed, droplets streaking his cheeks and wept quietly for the rest of the day. How could someone so reliable fall so easily?

A few days passed, but no news came from Asahi's family. Nothing felt real. That was when Yuu realized that nothing was permanent. He had been in self-quarantine for about three days so far, or so he thought. Nishinoya didn't keep track. What was the point of it? It wasn't like doing so could bring Azumane back.

After a little while, maybe one or two more days later, Noya was told some very grave information: that his friend had been transferred to more intensive care then before. There weren't many details given, but he knew that the spiker was getting worse.

Dread coursed through his small body in fear for his friend. Nishinoya wanted to wake up from this nightmare of uncertainty - this torture of walking on thin ice. His mother attempted to comfort him with many hugs and purchased baked goods, but it was no use. Nishinoya was grateful and almost glad he could keep his mind busy with the pastries, however they felt like sand in his mouth. He continued to talk with his other friends over the phone. They too, we're worried for Asahi.

After dinner, Yuu slowly dragged himself up to his bedroom to be by himself and his thoughts of the awful word that could be heard sometimes in hospitals. The one-syllable word that seemed to be getting closer, each and every day. Noya had never been religious, yet he prayed that Azumane would be okay. That they both could live to see each other once more, to watch one more sunset again at a sleepover, that he could receive a ball for Asahi to slam it down on the other court and celebrate another victory, that Noya could encourage his teammate not to give up after the Date Tech high match and afford to fall out with him again without the fear of being temporary looming over them. The good, the bad - all of those moments spent were now being missed more than ever.

_Yuu recounted a memory of Azumane bathed in the soft glow on the narrow balcony of his home. They were both planning to stay up a little while longer, but their mother's still wanted them asleep sooner than later._

_Oranges, pinks and soft lavenders danced across the sky in an amazing display of color._

_“Don't you think if the sunset had thoughts it would be very vain of itself?” Yuu asked his friend._

_“Well, I think it would have every right to be that way, after all, it continues to be this beautiful at the end of each day,” Azumane answered without looking away from the dimming, yet radiant sky._

_Yuu nodded in silent agreement as his friend slightly leaned against him while bringing an arm around to embrace Yuu. He could feel a tiny blush rise from his face. The sunset was reflected in Azumane's eyes, filling them with more life than was humanly possible for him._

_Oranges, pinks and soft lavenders._


	2. Chapter 2

A new email had been sent containing updates on Asahi's condition. Apparently, during the intensive care, the third year had taken a turn for the better and the doctors strongly believed that he was on the road to recovery. For the first time in about a couple of weeks, Noya's eyes displayed a tiny glimmer of hope. His mother had seen the positive news, so they celebrated with meat buns from Coach Ukai's shop. Nishinoya was ecstatic that Asahi was recovering and it seemed as though everyone had taken a sigh of relief - especially Noya because of the third year's asthma. Things we're really looking up. Perhaps the future wasn't as bleak as the young librero had once thought. After dinner and a couple rounds of board games, Nishinoya headed up to his bedroom in the late evening. The sky had already turned a deep indigo, stars shone every now and then that reminded him of the shine in Azumane's gentle mahogany eyes. He flopped onto his bed, the wood creaking softly as he got in with a light grey tank top and a pair of comfy, lemon-yellow shorts. As Yuu slowly drifted off to sleep, he began to recall in a dreamlike haze the first time that they went to the beach alone together.

_Azumane had just received his driver's license, so they went out as a treat, just the two of them. It was about mid-day on a warm Sunday. Yuu had packed a picnic lunch for the both of them, complete with salad, sandwiches, mini fruit tarts and cold, refreshing sweet tea. After they had played in the water and walked along the beach, hand in hand, they went back to where they had picked a spot to enjoy the rest of the day, which was now the sunset. Alone on the beach, they quietly ate their lunches together. Yuu yawned and stretched in the shade of the umbrella they had set up earlier._

_Azumane motioned for him to come over and lay his head on his lap to rest. Yuu got comfortable as Azumane played with his hair. As the ocean waves crashed and the summer wind blew sand across the beach, he could feel himself relax in his friend's arms. Azumane looked down and smiled at him. If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up, Yuu thought. A few hours later, he woke up - still in his friend's lap. The sun was beginning to set once more._

_“Sorry, I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful,” the timid, taller brunette broke the silence among the two of them._

_“That's fine, wanna come collect seashells with me?” the shorter brunette offered._

_“Sure.”_

_They had collected a number of seashells, smoothed glass that had washed up on the shore and small pebbles that day. It was getting late, so they had to head back. In the car, Yuu finished putting the umbrella away in the trunk and joined Azumane in the front, in the passenger seat of his parents' car. Scarlets, deep purples and dark blues started to set in the sky as the sun began to set once more. Clouds passed by in stretched lines of cotton white._

_“Did you enjoy it?” Yuu asked._

_“Definitely, did you?” Azumane responded._

_“Yeah,” he said with a small grin on his face._

Nishinoya woke up at around 11:57 pm from his flashback with his best friend. He rose from his bed and tip-toed over to a small box that was lying on the floor of his closet, hidden under a couple pairs of shoes. Inside that compact box contained half of the shells and trinkets the two of them had found on the beach that day. Asahi kept the other half at his house. Nishinoya took one of the shells and placed it gently in his palm and moved silently towards the open window in his bedroom.

The moonlight shone through the window, as if to let him know everything was alright for the moment. His opaque, chocolate-colored eyes looked up to a night sky filled with stars. Pinpricks of light danced across the celestial sphere above him. A cool, midnight breeze filled his lungs and heart with a sense of tranquility. The shell Noya was previously carrying grew warm in his hand, but felt more like the warmth of his tall companion: gentle and calm. He recalled the taller brunette giving him this shell. It was a peachy white colored, mini conch. Nishinoya held it close to his chest for the remainder of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the love! I hope that you have a great rest of your week/weekend!


	3. Final Chapter

During summer break, Nishinoya found ways to keep himself busy, yet continuing his quarantine lifestyle. He often messaged his other friends: Tanaka and Hinata with more notices on Asahi’s recovery in the hospital. Although not being able to see his friends, Noya still found ways to communicate over email messaging and calling each other. He spent most of the time with his family, valuing the little moments even more. Things were getting better for everyone else, but Asahi was still not being let out of the hospital due to the miniscule chance of him getting worse or sick with something else.  
Nishinoya continued to watch the sunset every evening and he hoped that one day he could do that once more with his Asahi, no longer as a friend, but as his lover. Noya continued to stay out a little later during the summer to watch the stars. They were brilliant and during late July you could see dozens of constellations gleaming in the dark, dark sky that filled your vision with beauty. Pinpricks of light from far, far away somehow gave the young volleyball player hope. He wasn’t sure why or how, but they did.

One fateful morning brought news of Asahi’s condition. The teenager was getting worse. Apparently, what seemed like him finally taking a turn for the better was actually the virus going momentarily asymptomatic then striking just when everyone thought it was almost over. It was an excruciating, unbearable weight upon both boys - mentally and physically.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into about a month without any more news of his friend's condition. Nishinoya was getting by, but not necessarily living. He wanted Asahi to be by his side more than anything now. Noya had regretted what he'd yelled at Asahi during their fight in the hallway and previously, of how aggressively he'd talked to Asahi in the club room. Nishinoya wished he could take it all back.

“Nishinoya. Nishinoya, are you there?” his teacher asked, via Zoom.

Classes had begun for Karasuno. Nishinoya was finally a third year, but he certainly didn't feel like it. Asahi should've graduated, yet he was in the hospital, fighting for his life.

“Yes, ma'am,” Noya replied, with an extremely dull tone.

Any other year he would've been celebrating the fact that his other best friend, Tanaka, was in his homeroom class. However, this year - although Asahi was going to graduate anyway, no matter what Noya wanted - felt like an inescapable well of despair. The young ace's condition wasn't going anywhere and there wasn't anything he could do. Home was no longer a place of joy for the usually cheerful libero. Nishinoya often spent his days locked away in his bedroom while his parents worked.  
“Can you answer the question on the screen?” the teacher asked him, with something that sounded like exhaustion.

“Yeah, so you take the square root of pi and…..”

After school, Nishinoya went on a brief walk in his neighborhood. The leaves on the trees were beginning to turn vivid reds and yellows. A cool breeze gently rustled them and the teenager's hair that hadn't been spiked in weeks.

Eyebags hung dark under his eyes. Noya couldn't recall the last time he had slept worry-free or the last time he had felt “okay". All he wanted was for Asahi to get better and to be wrapped in his friend's long arms with Asahi's calloused, yet somehow still soft, hands holding his. Nishinoya took a deep breath of the crisp autumn air and started walking back to his house.

Noya entered his house with a small smile on his face, an after-effect of the fresh air that he had not received in quite some time. However, he was greeted by tears in his parents’ eyes and a cold phone screen that was lit up. His stomach dropped, his blood grew cold. Fearing the worst, his mother passed him the device.

It seemed as though the information reached his brain before his eyes could read the words in the email from Asahi's family. Nishinoya's best friend, Asahi Azumane was just pronounced dead.

Time seemed to stop. The world halted in its rotation. Was this some psychopath's version of a sick joke named reality? Tears formed in the boy's eyes and cascaded down his cheeks as he quickly escaped his mother's attempt to hug him. He could barely hear his father say: let him be; as he locked his bedroom door. Once alone, Noya sank down to the hardwood floor, crying softly. His heart ached at the thought of Asahi dead in the hospital, alone, lifeless, cold. He could feel the last of the IV dripping as the heart monitor flatlined upon his sick friend.

Nishinoya’s eyes were already red from all the crying, his body frozen. Time was frozen for him, even the air seemed a little colder. Tears fell from his cheeks to his sweatshirt to the floor beneath him. Noya hung his head low as he fell into complete despair. The darkness in his room was going to eat him alive and that would be perfectly fine with him. A wave of suffocating desolation crashed repeatedly bringing more choked sobs than before. Asahi was gone.

After about a few hours of tears shed into the night, Yuu felt the world go dark. His body relaxed as he drifted somewhere unknown, maybe where Azumane was. That would be nice, Yuu thought.

But no, Yuu was submerged in a colorful scene. Where was this?

“Asahi, I don't want you to leave!” Yuu begged his friend not to go.

“Nishi, come on, it's just for the summer,” his taller friend answered.

“But I'm going to be all alone without you!”

“You have Tanaka,” Azumane attempted to reason.

“No, he's going to Cancun over break,” Yuu told him, looking down, frustrated.

Why this memory? Was the universe taunting him? What was this sick joke? Reliving this one memory instead of a good one? And it HAD to be this one? No, this couldn't be right, Yuu desperately tried to wake himself, but it was no use.

“Oh,” the brunette sounded.

“Please, why can't you just stay?” Yuu said, slight tears in his eyes.

Dreaming Yuu had no control over this, it was like he was in his own body, but this time with no control over his actions.

“I have to go now,” Azumane said in a sad tone. He didn't want to leave either, but it wasn't like he had a choice. “I'll be back before you know it, we'll see each other again.”

Just as the taller boy turned to head toward the already packed up car, Yuu ran towards him at full speed, leaped into his arms. Azumane stumbled a little, yet kept his balance. They embraced for a little while and everything faded to white with only Azumane and Yuu.

“Don't worry, I'll see you real soon. Don't forget about me, k?”

And with one last shout towards a departing friend, Yuu shouted “I won't!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me until the end! I apologize for the month long hiatus, I know you must be double mad at me for writing this angst and for taking so long but mental health and school has kept me away. I really enjoyed writing this and am proud to call this my first published work on AO3! Q & A is next chapter, so please ask me any questions you have about the fic, my life or my writing in the comments, my DMs on Tiktok (@dedf1sh_01) or over text! I wish you all a good rest of your day/night!
> 
> \- Crow
> 
> P.S. Definitely recommend listening to the playlist I made on YouTube called I Could See the Sunset in Your Eyes ( it's public just in case you didn't get the link ;) )

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This is my first time uploading a fanfiction on a site like this, so if you have any recommendations, edits or notice something wrong please don't hesitate to comment! :) I hope you enjoy the story!


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